I remember back in the day when we were kids, well at least when I was a kid, those elementary school and middle school relationships, where if you even talked to someone that wasn’t you boyfriend or girlfriend everyone on the playground knew about it by recess. Guess who was in trouble and then dubbed a cheater, yeah, that poor little kid that was just trying to be friendly. Now let’s move a little further along oh the high school years, when it was still just as childish, but on a different scale. Who was kissing who, who hooked up at that party last weekend, and are they still together because I heard what he did?
More experiences with relationships make our opinions about cheating evolve, and sometimes we bend the rules to benefit our situation. In any case, generally there are some key factors that manipulate our opinion on the topic.
Experience- many people that have had their heart broken tend to have trust issues, so simply talking to someone of the opposite sex can set them off in a jealous storm. It can also dictate what behavior they start in a relationship as in whether or not they decide to get serious about someone based on fear of getting hurt.
Exclusivity- The lack of communication on where you stand with someone can cause hurt feelings. If you’re committed to someone let them know, because if you don’t say anything they are going to think its okay to talk to other people and you will be the one that is hurt not them.
What works for you? – Knowing what works for you is the easiest way to avoid a situation of someone cheating. For instance, my boyfriend and I know that cheating is a big issue for me because I have had my heart broken because a man I was committed to who claimed he was committed to me cheated on me with a friend of mine. So with us, cheating would constitute anything from kissing on forward. Kissing is something we could work on, and eventually get past, but sex is out of the question. If I had sex with someone else or he does, we are done. No reconciliation, just done.
I feel like there could be a set rule, but then there is always the exception to the rule, and not everybody will follow the rules. What works for you may not work for your friend. Some couples are swingers and would be okay with having multiple sexual partners. I however am not one of those people; my man is my man only. So when you make your decision on what works for you, use your COMMUNICATION skills and tell your partner what’s up.